Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I need to stop coming to work sober
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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