fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
