I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
