There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
