Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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