Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I supernannyed him into submission
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
