I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
