Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
