I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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