OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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