no. you can't hotbox the world.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
