im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
