OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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