let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
