So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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