Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
