This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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