Can i not drive my cunt home
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
