Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize