Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
