dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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