Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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