Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
