I think my vagina is haunted
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
