He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
