Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
