let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
