I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
