3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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