It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
