we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
