Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
