i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
