I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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