WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
