what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
