get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
