I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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