please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
