toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
