marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
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