So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
