PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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