i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
