Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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