I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
