i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
