should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
