she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
