I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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