I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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