she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
